Sunday 6 March 2022

Questions that raises Gender Bias in the Society

In the 21st century, where each necessity is turning out to be digital, where the world is getting shorter with the help of technology, we all are heading towards a progressive world, but are we progressive in the thought process that makes society a better place for women.

This year's women’s day theme is #BreaktheBias, after more than a century of celebration(1911 to 2021) of International Women’s Day we all are still standing at the cross path where society is creating gender bias.

If you think you are supporting women by giving them options and freedom to choose then society at the same time is asking questions to women that are creating a huge gap between gender roles played and also passing statements that are subtle judgments. The Social pressure theory states that women are under high pressure than men due to this. 

#BreakTheBias  - Auraofthoughts



Women are still struggling to build their mark in society and if they build too then society has their meager ways to pull her down. Society here does not include only men who question women it has women too that pull down other women in the name of moral policing or unwanted advisory. Though women are glorified for their multi-tasking but at the same time, women face hundreds of questions on their choice. 

Here we are sharing a few of the questions that create gender bias and also leave women to self-doubt and guilt experience.


Question 1: When are you settling in life?

If you think this question is haunting men and making them go nervous to find a job and settle, this question is equally giving shivers to women from an early age. The day a girl completes her graduation the dream of society to settle her starts with full fervor though she is distantly related to a person even that person starts looking for matches and feels happy to find a new nest to that girl. As a society, one can play matchmaker only if asked not before that. A woman should marry when she is ready and not under the pressure of society to bear the responsibilities unprepared.



Question 2: When will you have a baby? How will you join work after baby / Why do you need to join the work after baby?

As the marriage question was not enough, society keep on pinpointing the woman to bear a child. Judgments are passed if the woman is working, saying that she is being more ambitious in life and not enjoying motherhood.

When a woman decides to take motherhood and career path side by side, again she is being asked and judged for her decision. She is being asked how she will manage home and child. Though Mother is the primary caregiver in the initial months of the child, she is held responsible for bringing up the baby.

A woman is probed for her working hours and her ability to manage home and baby, she is being put under tremendous pressure to outperform herself. The decision to continue a job after motherhood, or taking a break after motherhood, or not taking motherhood is completely her choice. Societal pressures make the woman uncomfortable at social gatherings. Parenting is the responsibility of father and mother so why only the mother is held responsible for child upbringing?



Question 3: Who looks after home if you go to an office and come late? Do you cook at home as you are working? How do you take care of healthy food if you are working?

This question is often asked by people living around women (neighbors, social circles) also by extended family to find out how she can balance work and home. This question is never ever asked men, how they manage home and work. It is by default considered that woman is the primary caregiver to family and home. Women are being judged for their decision and are assumed that working women will have a messy home. A woman can take help from the people, be it cooking or laundry or cleaning home.

Society judges also devalue women by calculating the amount earned vs the amount spent. They calculate the salaries of cook, maid, and driver and ask the woman what is the point to earn when the equal amount is spent to maintain the home. Here they are disregarding the dream and ambitions of a woman who has dreamt of goals in her career life too.



Question 4: How do your kids cope-up with their studies if you are not at home?

Child upbringing has been always been conveniently passed on to a woman and the student report cards are also a way to judge the woman. If the child does not perform well and the mother is working then the entire blame is shifted to the mother rather than looking at the scenario for the child.  Society raises a question to mothers and put-forths liability for child studies to women.



These are just a few common questions woman faces each day from known to random people in life. Yes, it is her responsibility if she wishes to own it else not if she does not. Society criticizing women of each fault in the family is not new and in this digital age, it is being continued with these questions and many more on social media too. But have we ever thought about why these questions are diverted to woman only?



Why does society ask questions?

Age-old tradition

Yes, change is happening but still, we need a few more years where people start accepting and respecting the woman’s choice and their perception. Since it is an age-old practice and the fixed mindset towards women; people find it hard to digest and ask these questions as they consider it is their moral duty.

Out of curiosity

Few of them just ask questions out of curiosity or to understand the new age happy functioning home. Be it any reason, asking someone so many personal questions is indecent and demarks the behavior of the questioner.

Easier to question women

Yes, you read it right. It is easier to question a woman about the home, or kids as 99 % of them won’t give them a fitting reply as they do not want to disrespect the person. these questions are directed only towards women whereas men are also equally responsible for the home care and parenting of a child.


Society can be progressive if the mindset of all makes a shift towards the good and look at the person without gender bias.


How society can support women without asking questions

Being non-judgemental

A society can give peace of mind to the woman by not judging her for her choices. This might seem very little task or a job to do but it can really mean the world to others. Imagine a woman can make her choices without guilt or regret in life, then half of the population will be happier, and the happiness index goes higher.


Be supportive in offering help than asking questions:

One can be supportive by offering any help to the woman if she is facing any trouble than blaming her for the circumstances or asking her numerous questions about her multi-tasking day. 


By smiling and saying they are doing a great job:

To voice our opinion may be difficult many times, so just give a comforting smile and say have a good day, than asking how do you manage to dress up and go to the office leaving house responsibilities behind is a better choice of the words.


We have listed a few of the common questions posed by society, though many more in-depth questions clearly show how few responsibilities have gender-marked roles and how few tasks are always dedicated to a woman. Thinking about the people and not taking their choice is also wrong, do not fall into the trap of ‘What society will think of my choices’, to get out of that trap read the post “Log kya Kehenge Mindset”.


We wish each woman ‘Happy Women’s Day and be revered by her choices.


This blogpost is a part of Women's Day Blog hop on the theme #BreakTheBias #BreakTheSilence conducted by Sakshi Varma & Rakhi Jayshankar, powered BeeTess Melt 


@MeenalSonal

28 comments:

  1. Valid questions raised. Share your views.
    Totally agree with all your points, MeenalSonal.
    Society has to go a long way if we plan to truly #BreakTheBias.

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  2. So true..... Together we can bring change but still ....not doing

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  3. I really liked your constructive suggestions on what society can do to support women

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  4. Now these may look very simple questions but they are repeated on several occasions. Somehow society is conditioned in a way to think on these lines. Surprisingly women judge each others. Firstly that should be stopped and for that they should learn to raise their thinking standards. I liked how you created the small creatives for every question.

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  5. By talking about these questions, you have shown all that is wrong with our society. These questions, put unnecessary pressure on women to conform to societal norms and they feel judged if they don't do so. It is really important to have non-judgemental, supportive people around.

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  6. I can relate to each question of yours. I have been a victim of most of the questions. Now my daughter is asked when are you getting married. You are over the hill and you wont get any matches. AS a widow I have been asked why I do not move to my son's house or live with my daughter as I live alone.

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  7. It is bitter truth of our society where women get judged by society at every stage of life. I loved the way you have raise this concern with this power packed post. your suggestions are also practical and easy to apply. hope we see a future system where women get equal opportunity and did not get judged by others.

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  8. I agree these are unpleasant and irritating questions to say the least. Men are subjected to some of these questions too. I can say from personal experience never liked it.

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  9. You are bang on in pointing out these questions buddy, I have personally faced them, your post kind of struck a chord

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  10. Beautifully shown the hidden face of society towards women.i was always frustrated with such questions..after marriage they poo the question about family planning..women is not left with choice of her own.so much of pressure will be put on her .after marriage in everything..child is connected.

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  11. There are even more questions, I know personally families where still women is treated only as a person who cook and serve to male members of the family.

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  12. Easier said then done. I have been/ am going through the first two phases. Yes little changes are seen in society, but not much. Long way ahead.

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  13. These are some really deep questions to ponder upon. Sometimes I really think...are these really worth? Coming to the settle part, is life a race? I got married and 'settled' at 22 but really is that settlement?

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  14. The questioning never stops at any age in a woman's life. For this to stop it should begin with a small circle and then look forward to a bigger change
    Sindhu

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  15. 'Log kya kahenge' is a such a huge challenge not only for women but society at large. This myopic mindset needs a massive shift.

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  16. Been there done that - my gosh these questions. It is especially saddening even our follow woman colleagues pass these judgemental questions. Well put

    Sreeparna Sen

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  17. Log kya kahenge!! I have addressed this in my blog post too. I love your take on the questions faced by women in this society. It is easy to question a women, i feel.

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  18. You raised most of the questions which a person has to face in this gender biased world. Agar if they don't ask, then log kya kahenge? So they have to ask...mind you its only because of those log these guys are asking. 😍😂 Just kidding aah.

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  19. The list of questions can be an unending process. A very insightful write. We have to set an example for our generations to come. My mother broke the bias even before that when she joined AMC and was one on the 1st 3 women to join the army. My father broke the bias 52 years ago. He had distributed sweets to the whole hospital when I was born 52 years ago and he did the same when my daughter was born. Daughters were not a welcome sight then. A couple was considered unlucky if a daughter was born. He led by example and taught people to celebrate as Laxmi had come and that a daughter is as valuable as a son. Can you pls read my article https://rntalksllp.com/international-womens-day-break-the-bias/ and share your feedback. looking fwd to it. regards

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  20. You addressed the issue nicely. So many questions around us.
    Also it pains me when I see women asking questions from other women.

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  21. A practical post highlighting the real challenges women face in our society along with solutions too. We need to be more empathetic and supportive of women by sharing the load.
    #breakthebiasbloghop #breakthesilence

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  22. Agree 100%! You've listed and addressed the realities Indian women have to face in our society.

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  23. These questions, while simple at first glance, are asked repeatedly. In some ways, society has been trained to think in this way. Surprisingly, women tend to look down on one another. The first step is to stop it, and the second is to teach them how to think more critically. This is such a practical post. #breakthebias #breakthesilence
    Anjali

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  24. The article gives a fresh perspective to make sense of things.

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  25. Will these questions ever stop?I guess it will start with our ownself, when will we stop feeling guilty about these questions? When we stop,I guess others will also stop sooner or later

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  26. We women should stand firm and not be shaken up by views of the outside world like a plant gets shaken up by gusts of wind.
    Of course this is difficult, but there is no other way out. We have to face our fears head-on, breathe, find a solution and move on.

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  27. Wow. I feel.guilty that I missed this wonderful post MeenalSonal. Well put out. Neatly categorised and kept intact. Loved every bit of it

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  28. Very interesting read and relevant questions. And we still hear them even today. I like the suggestions you provided as solutions.

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