Sunday, 10 March 2019

Mamma Perfectionist in a trouble

Shanaya was pleased to see her mother when she arrived to stay back with her for a week.  After hugging her Shanaya tears dropped, this was unusual as Shanaya and her parents lived in same city and would meet often.  Shanaya’s mother Madhulika sensed something was not right with her daughter. Madhulika was a lady with a strong aura and was leading professor of soft skills before her retirement.

Shanaya’s son Yuvin made Madhulika visits her daughter more often these days, but this visit was not for Yuvin it was for Shanaya, as she could make out that Shanaya is worried over something and was not sharing. Madhulika was waiting for the right time to talk to her daughter.  Shanaya very carefully prepared meals for her 15-month-old toddler and instructed her helper for each task with minute details. Her mother knew how perfectionist is Shanaya but some thing was taking toll on her.

When Yuvin was taking afternoon nap Shanaya sat with her mother to chat and simultaneously switched on laptop to book tickets and hotels for their upcoming vacation with her son for the first time after Yuvin was born.

Madhulika asked Shanaya, “What happened Sanu”, she called Sanaya Sanu with love.
Shanaya took few seconds and said “Nothing Ma”, and peeped into laptop with more confusion.

Momology-Perfectionist mother in trouble MeenalSonal
Worried Mamma

Laptop turned low battery and switched off in a minute, as the charging point was away, Shanya thought she will do the bookings later discussing with her husband Rajveer once again and sat to chat with her mother.

Madhulika knew Shanaya likes to be talked to the point so she poised the question in a direct tone to her.
“What is bothering you Sanu, you never looked more fixed up? Don’t you practice your music lessons now days?

Shanya after a pause answered, “It’s just that Yuvin has now started walking and touches each piece of the house and I am trying healthy meal options for him; and yes how can I take music lessons when Yuvin is around?” With her last sentence she kind of choked with tears and was kind of diverting the topic asking about her father’s friends trip to Coorg.

Madhulika, patted Sanaya and said it is okay to vent out things by crying, you can discuss with me.
Sanaya said sobbing, “I am unable to handle all things properly; schedule everything but it starts going haywire”

Madhulika nodded and held Sanaya hand compassionately and said “today I will give you two secrest of my life and how I managed things that interested me and took care of household while raising you.”

“Shanaya you are someone who wants to complete the tasks to perfection. I know you can never let go something until its 100% perfect. It is a good habit but when we have multiple responsibilities and myriad roles to play we can just let go few things. “

Firstly prioritize things according to your happiness quotient.
Who told doing something in that particular manner is perfect and doing it other way round is not. There is nothing called perfect in life, bacha. It is we who set the boundaries of a perfect world. My dear just extends your set boundaries and look how everything just fits in. Among the entire role there are some of your dreams to be fulfilled too. Give that me time to give wings to your dreams. The clothes to be washed can wait for an hour, but your music cant.”

Secondly, delegate work. Sanaya was about to say a word but her mother silenced her with a nod. “You can delegate work to your helpers with your instructions. Like you prepare meals for Yuvin, so chopping of vegetables and peeling of fruits can be done by your helper, whereas you just cook. You save time and energy and you got time to take music lessons.”

Then Madulika says, “let's start this schedule from tomorrow and shun off troubled perfectionist mamma tag from you.”
Sanaya nodded with agreement and kept her head in mother lap still thinking about the wise words her mother just said.

So all the mother's out there shun off the tag of troubled mamma with these piece of advices.

This post is a part of Momology blog train hosted by Thoughts by Geethica, SlimexpectationsMummasaurus and Truly Yours Roma sponsored by FirstCry Intellikit, Instacuppa, Diet Funda, Hugs n tugs, Tina Basu, Unorthodoxpeeps, Lotus Herbals baby and Shumee toys.

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 We take this blog train baton from Keerthana, who blogs at blog named "Active Life Living" and pass it to Aesha who blogs at "Aesha Musings".



  1. Most women face this turmoil. They keep judging themselves. I guess that needs to go. It's a good way that you wrote it in a story form as it makes a larger impact.

  2. I too have faced this and cursed always myself for many wrong things. I wish I too would have known these points of prioritize and delegate at that time.

  3. This post is a really sweet way of talking about the struggles of a new mom. It’s also very true and easy to relate to.
    Noor Anand Chawla

  4. Very thoughtfully penned article and dad reality of the society. Every woman faces this and keeps judging herself. It's time we stop being hard on ourselves.

  5. The tag of perfectionist is really killing most of us with pressure. It's important to be happy and comfortable rather than perfect.

    Nicely written

  6. Loved the way you started it. Woman shouldn't blame themselves. Finding cause is more important..

  7. Wow! Such a beautifully written post, i agree perfectionist tag is really pressuring, its time we embrace our imperfectly perfect self

  8. Everybody cant be perfect and one must accept it. We should gratitude in our daily life to be positive. Thanks for sharing such motivating blog.


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